THE IMPORTANCE OF HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
Relationships are a central part of life. Whether it is with significant others, family members, or friends, we need people in our lives who will lift us up. At risk mothers and families often have unwholesome relationships in their life and patterns of unhealthy relationships. They need help recognizing what is healthy and unhealthy for their family. They need to be empowered to set appropriate boundaries with the dependence and challenges regarding their relationships.
At Desired Haven Family Care, we know healthy relationships are priority. We want to help moms practice this discipline so they are able to experience a thriving future. Helping them work through their current relationships and evaluating them is one of the primary ways we help mothers find stability.
A resident in one of our homes expressed concern with the authority of her parents over her children. She shared that her children lived with their grandparents while she was in rehab. While she was appreciative of their support and help, problems arose when her kids began to view the grandparents as the authority in their life. Desired Haven Family Care assisted this mom in helping her kids recognize her as the authority figure. Once boundaries were established among this family, their relationships began to flourish because each person involved was fulfilling the role they were meant to have. This mom expressed,
“I feel like I’m able to have a real relationship with my mom now instead of me just always taking from her.”
She was able to experience peace in the relationship with her parents by being empowered to establish healthy boundaries while still valuing the connection with them.
In addition to familial relationships, another common place where relationships are unhealthy is romantic. Recently, dating has been a hot topic at Desired Haven. To encourage our families to date biblically, and look for a godly mate, the residents have been reading a book called, “Outdated,” by Jonathan Pokluda and Kevin McConaghy. One week, the study was about what a godly mate would act like and how to recognize Christ-like character. Looking for qualities of someone who pursues God is vital. We want mothers to realize that unless a mate is pursuing Christ, they will not love them in a healthy way. They will model 1 Timothy 4:12 – “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.”
The mothers were encouraged to ask these types of questions when considering a potential mate:
What comes out of their mouth?
How do they act and conduct themselves?
How do they love others?
What does their faith consist of? Are they serving, attending church, spreading the gospel?
Are they pure and content in their singleness? Are they encouraging you to remain pure?
Relationships will either encourage a family’s pursuit towards a healthy future or hinder them. We want our moms and families to develop strong family, friend, and dating relationships so their family can flourish rather than sink back into unhealthy patterns that prevent them from reaching their desired haven.